As
I've Matured...
I've
learned that you cannot make someone love
you.
All
you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give
in.
I've
learned that one good turn gets most of the
blankets.
I've
learned that no matter how much I care, some people are
just jack asses.
I've
learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly
distributed.
I've
learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more screwed up than you
think.
I've
learned that depression is merely anger without
enthusiasm.
I've
learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take
it off.
I've
learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think
you're finished.
I've
learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the
sweaty things.
I've
learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've
learned age is a very high price to pay for
maturity.
I've
learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy
it.
I've
learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless
we are celebrities.
I've
learned that artificial intelligence is no match for
natural stupidity.
I've
learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house, one of your kids did
it.
I've
learned that there is a fine line between genius and
insanity.
I've
learned that the people you care most about in life are
taken from you too soon and all the less important ones
just never go away.
And
the real pains in the butt are
permanent.
Who
knows, maybe something good will
happen.
If
not...tough
How
many do you remember?
If you don't remember this, you're too young
anyway. This is a time we can feel good about
remembering so much! Always remember that the perfect
age is somewhere between old enough to know better and
young enough not to care.
Candy
cigarettes.
Wax
coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
inside.
Soda
pop machines that dispensed glass
bottles.
Coffee
shops with tableside juke boxes.
Blackjack,
Clove and Teaberry chewing gum
Home
milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard
stoppers.
Party
lines.
Newsreels
before the movie.
P.
F. Flyers.
Butch
wax.
Telephone
numbers with a word prefix,
(Drexel-5505).
Peashooters.
Howdy.
45-RPM
Records.
Green
Stamps.
Hi-fi's.
Metal
ice cube trays-with levers.
Mimeograph
paper.
Blue
flash Bulbs.
Beanie
and Cecil.
Roller
skate keys.
Cork
pop guns.
Drive
ins.
Studebakers.
Wash
tub wringers.
The
Fuller Brush man.
Reel-to-reel
tape recorders.
Tinkertoys.
The
Erector Set.
The
Fort Apache Playset.
Lincoln
Logs.
15
cent McDonald hamburgers.
5
cent packs of baseball cards...with that awful pink slab
of bubblegum.
Penny
candy.
35
cent-a-gallon gasoline.
AND
A TIME WHEN
....................
Decisions
were made by going
"eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes
were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do
over!"
"Race
issue" meant arguing about who ran the
fastest.
Catching
the fireflies could happily occupy an entire
evening.
It
wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
"
The
worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was
cooties.
Having
a weapon in school meant being caught with a
slingshot.
A
foot of snow was a dream come
true.
Saturday
morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action
figures.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free"
made perfect sense.
Spinning
around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for
giggles.
The
worst embarrassment was being picked last for a
team.
War
was a card game.
Water
balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball
cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a
motorcycle.
Taking
drugs meant orange-flavored chewable
aspirin.
If
you can remember most or all of these, then you have
lived!!!!
